Ask for help? What? I don’t need help. I help other people. It’s what I do, right? I’m an endless font of support and wisdom. Or, you know, funny stories. Or whiskey. Or mead. Whatever the occasion calls for. I’m your monster. Er … man. Goat. Baphomet. Or something.
I’m not just bad at asking for help: I’m not even very good at taking it when it’s offered.
Part of my problem right now, of course, is that there’s not really anything going on that people can help me with. I’m a student. No one can really help me with the work. In terms of my personal history, I’ve actually done a pretty good job of asking for help, lately.
When it came to performing the Stele of Jeu, I turned to Jack Faust for advice on sources and those potential problems which somehow never seem to get written down. Without his generous councelling, those experiments would almost certainly not be going as well as they are.
After wresting with the Registrar for a couple weeks getting my transfer status sorted out a little better, I spent this afternoon talking with my academic advisor, working on my three-year plan. I really want to spend time abroad, but as a transfer student I don’t have quite as much time for that sort of thing, and the London program doesn’t fit as nicely into my academic requirements as I might like. Also, it’s never too soon to start planning for my Senior Capstone.
I’ve been employing time-management techniques I learned from Aradia during out time together, and that’s been helping me get caught up.. I’ve been begging my local friends for assistance in the form of patience while I climb out of the hole I’ve dug for myself, falling behind in my course work. The folks at the local pagan store have been helping me out by providing me a venue to make a little cash on the side, teaching mead-making workshops—even when I only break even, like this weekend, I at least get a concrete reminder that I am a) competent at a lot of things; and, b) already a decent teacher.
Sannafrid—and all my friends, but her in particular—has been doing her best to keep me sane, but that’s a Herculean task at the best of times. I am not a fun person to be around when I’m stressed out. Just ask anyone who knew me in St.Louis. Especially the ones who don’t talk to me anymore.
So we come full circle. I’m not very good at asking for help, and I’m pretty damn graceless when it comes to taking it as offered. I’ve been doing better, lately, but unfortunately my problems are largely things that no one can help me with.
Except the gods. But in the highly ritualized headspace created by my ceremonial studies, I’m not sure how to ask them for help. I’m still working on phrasing sigils and enchantments. Any of you folks out there have suggestions for time-management magic? Charming the shit out of obnoxious professors? Battering the bureaucracy of the Registrar’s office into submission? Oh, hey. There’s me being good: asking for help some more.
And fuck it: I’m a witch, I could just try asking nicely; start with some devotional images as a bribe. (And, fuck, I should probably try out some of my own damn self-care rituals while I’m at it.)