I Think I May Be Dead

I’d like to say I don’t quite know what happened to the last two or three weeks, but I do: stress, sleep deprivation, and school.  I’ve been sick all semester, to one degree or another, and  since the Full Moon my insomnia and temper have been so far out of control that I’ve been starting to wonder if I’ve been hexed.  I know, I know: that almost never happens.  And I’ve been checking my aura, performing banishing’s, and even trying the good Master Balthazar’s water trick, all with no signs of any attack.  So it’s probably “just” stress.  Probably.

I’m sure y’all know: stress and sleep deprivation make for a nasty downward spiral.  So nasty, in this case, that instead of just dropping a class with an abusive professor, or even filing a report, I’ve been deliberating dropping a curse tablet on him, instead.  (My school is so conveniently situated next to / on top of a grave yard … though I suspect the Quaker dead might not be very helpful in this regard.)  Don’t worry, I haven’t done it.  I know this impulse to scorch the earth and salt it is a product of that same stress and insomnia; it’s instructive in illustrating the degree, though.

This past weekend was Early Semester Break.  I got caught up on my sleep (mostly; it takes more than a few good nights to completely make up for two solid weeks of not sleeping), but I’m still sick.  (Hack.  Phlegm.)  My temper is still out of control.  Everything makes me angry.

Still, my experiments continue.  I have been performing DuQuette’s banishing/invocation in the mornings instead of the pentagram rite, to interesting effect.  I have twice more performed the rite of the Stele of Jeu the Hieroglyphist—at the Full Moon and the Dark.  My journeys to the Underworld and my Inner Temple have been … peculiar but, I think, productive.  I have completed the first round of Deb’s New Year, New You project, and am looking forward to continuing with the project.  My monthly Tarot reading looks good … except on my professional and social fronts.  And I have completed the first draft of my Personal Manifesto of Sacred Sexuality.

Posts with actual thought will be coming soon.  Also, site maintenance.  Lots of it.