Ow. That Was A Wall

projectnullI got nothing done for Project Null this week: Tuesday through Friday were a complete wash.  In a small part, that can be blamed on my frustration with the unsatisfying results of the sigil shoal I launched a couple weeks ago.  Mostly, though, it was because I spent all my time and energy on my anthropology of gender class.  In related news, I am now ill, but on the plus side I got a lot of great material for my Feminism as Chaos Magick essay (and narrowly avoided a tumblr fight in the process).

The Sorcerer’s Secrets finally shipped Thursday.  Friday morning, the lost keys I was looking for did finally appear in a pocket of my backpack that I’m fairly sure I checked.  I have found about a dollar’s worth of change on the ground.  So: it seems like these things took about ten days to manifest.  Perhaps I phrased my intent poorly, or chose targets that were problematic for reasons I don’t understand.  Perhaps the sigil designs were somehow inadequate.  Perhaps the launch technique was inadequate.  Or maybe it just takes that long, even when a shorter time table is encoded in the sigil.  For lack of adequate data, I’m going to assume a combination of all of the above was at fault and mark the experiment as “mixed results”

I did get my act back together yesterday morning and today: doing my meditations, making my weekend offerings, and firing a shoal of sigils each morning using a simpler charging technique: still charged from my morning rituals, I arranged the sigils on my Chaos Altar, lit a candle each for Death and Desire, held the sigils up to the sunrise, and chanted “It is my will” until I felt something shift.  When each of the sigils was so charged, I lit a third candle, again chanting “It is my will” until I felt a shift.  The first shoal was socially oriented: knowing who wants to fuck me, who I can trust, and that sort of thing.  The second was more academic: improved comprehension, reading speed, and recall.

Because I seem to be much better at actually doing my meditation first thing in the morning, I am going to add that to my morning routine, as well as try for a second 5 minutes at night.