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If I were to hazard a guess about the most-ignored advice we all received as beginner witches, pagans, and mystics, it would be “practice daily”. There are lots of variations on that advice – meditate daily, journal daily, draw a tarot card daily, et cetera ad nauseum – but they all boil down to “touch base with spiritual / magical reality every day”. And we all say, “yeah, probably, but … what if I didn’t?” (Or maybe you’re one who said, “yes I must” but then … didn’t, anyway, and just felt super guilty about it. Or maybe you’re one of the perfect ones, and you can sit in the corner while I talk to everyone else.)

I have, to be clear, been in the first two categories at various times in my life. The times when I have managed to keep together a daily practice have historically been few and far between, and mostly no longer than a semester. (College was good for me.) So when I say that I am currently on the longest streak of my life to date, I like to think I’m coming from a relatable place of more failure than not. And in the trial and error process that brought me here, I think I’ve learned a few things that may be of use to others.

This streak began with the August Do Magic Challenge: thirty days of enchantment toward material outcomes. I failed the challenge – I missed a day, about ten days in, and of the thirty launched sigils, maybe six desires manifested – but … I won in the long run, I think. As I pursued my daily challenge, a series of visionary experiences shifted the approach from the sequential launch of a series of traditional Chaos Magick sigils to daily meditations with my familiar spirits, culminating in the assisted launch of those sigils. I also, through trial and error as much as spiritual instruction, learned a lot about what works for me, personally, in a daily ritual.

The terms of the challenge, if you don’t feel like checking out the link or wading through the page, were 30 minutes of daily ritual aimed at manifesting material results. I chose to fulfil those terms with 30 daily sigils, comprised of things I super duper wanted, things that would make my life a bit easier, and some things for which I had no real “lust of results”. I had grand schemes of making a spreadsheet to track which manifested and which didn’t.

When I started the challenge, I was launching them at night, 30 to 90 minutes before I went to bed. That was … fine, for days when I didn’t have much going on. But on days when I was running D&D, or throwing a late-night cast, or doing other magic, it was a real challenge that, ultimately, I didn’t live up to. One night I just didn’t have enough of me left to sit down at the altar a second time, and when I woke up in the morning I had lost the challenge. I already had all those sigils, though, so I soldiered on in search of an honorable mention.

I was not yet keeping good notes, at that time, so the order of operations was a little vague. I know that my familiar spirits had already taken an interest by that point. The ritual had not yet gotten much more elaborate than a sigil and a candle and perhaps incense offerings for my familiars.

Having determined, through failure, that nighttime ritual wasn’t working for me, I decided to try performing my ritual first thing in the morning. Now, I am very much not a morning person, but back in my college days and the Sunrise Temple, I had an ongoing ritual where every Sunday morning I would sit at my altar and share my first cups of coffee with my familiar spirits. So I brought that in to play: pouring libations, drawing the day’s sigil from the shuffled stack, drinking my coffee as I stared at the glyph, then finally lighting a candle when I was done.

Eventually, I made my way through all 30 sigils. Not many of my desires had manifested at that point, but I had already begun to receive useful and interesting instructions from my familiars. So I just kept going. And going. And going. Even up until today. And I think I’ve learned some things that may be of use to people beyond jut myself.

Part of the success of this streak has been that I have allowed the daily ritual to evolve with my needs and mood. The ritual, as I said, began with a candle and a sigil. I added an incense offering early on. Then coffee offerings. When the sigils were all launched, I added a planetary magic component: opening my Liber Spiritus to an appropriately illustrated page – featuring a magic circle and/or a transcribed prayer – and decorating the altar with talismans enchanted under the auspices of each planet. When I began a daily tarot practice in late September, early October, I incorporated that into the end of the ritual. Partially through creative inspiration, partly under the instruction of my familiars, I developed an opening ritual. Finally, some time in November, I added a journaling aspect.

I am now on my longest streaks of daily ritual, daily divination, and daily journaling of my entire life. I haven’t been perfect with any of them. There are days I haven’t been able to stand the thought of writing down what I have seen. There are days I was in too much of a hurry to draw a card. There have been days I’ve woken up to realize that I have run out of coffee, or candles, or incense, and been unable to perform the ritual. But my success rate has been so strong that I don’t feel like I’m cheating when I claim that the full six months.

So, what have I learned?

General

Start small and simple. Fuck the Q-Cross. Fuck the LBRP. Actually simple.

Start with a goal – a day count, a thing you’re praying or enchanting for.

If morning doesn’t work for you, try night. Or when you get home from work. Or after you walk the dog.

Find some form of external accountability. I know, I know. But I’m more internally accountable than almost anyone I’ve met, and “six month streak” is the best I’ve ever done.

Embrace imperfection. Not every page will be pretty. Not every ritual has clear results. Sometimes you’ll forget to do something. Just don’t quit.

The Ritual

Again, start small. A candle. A libation. Incense. Just one of them.

Again, external accountability: make the ritual an offering to your familiar spirit(s). If you don’t have familiars, make it your guides and guardians. Don’t have guides and guardians? Adopt a gnostic god. I recommend Baphomet. Abraxas, Lucifer, and Dionysus are also good picks. Every morning I pray to Baphomet to awaken his light within me and within the world. I can feel it burning, even now.

Again, if the ritual you try first doesn’t work: change it. If it feels like too much, pare it down. Pare it down more. Fewer components. Fewer gestures. Less time. Conversely, if it feels weak or stupid, dial it up. Cast a circle. Make more offerings. Perform more gestures. Shout at the quarters. 

Daily Divination

Keep your deck by your altar at all times. Get a special deck for daily draws if you have to.

Use a simple system. Tarot is better than I Ching (for this). One card. Maybe two or three. Fuck the Celtic cross. Unless too simple is your problem, then make throwing the sticks (or coins) a huge production. 

Again, external accountability: beg or bully your friends to start a Tarot group chat. Comment on their readings. Commiserate over bad days. Have fun tracking the overlaps. This will double as a group journal, and can serve as a backup if you forget to write things down in your “real” journal.

Journal

Keep your journal at your altar at all times.

Start with journaling about your daily ritual and divination. Fuck full sentences. My entries have grown to include astrological timing and sleep notes, but the core is:
“Morning Ritual:
strong contact
no clear messages

Cards:
Tower * 3P * 5S
well shit”

I’m still working on coming back to journal about the weekly Venus offerings (another post) or anything that happens at one of the other house altars.

Decide in advance what you’ll do with days you miss. You might just date the next page and roll. I date the page and leave the rest blank, or scribble down as much as I can remember.

Again, again, again: the important thing is to find something that works for you. I like Picadilly (knockoff Molskine) journals tucked into my fancy leather Oberon cover. You might like leatherbound journals with fancy paper. Or 3M spiralbound notebooks. Or premade journals like the DM Kraig one from Llewellyn. If the first thing you try doesn’t click, try something else.

Conclusion

That last line is the key: “If the first thing you try doesn’t click, try something else.”

Remember that in Latin, “perfect” means “complete” and is a euphemism for “dead”.  Perfection is a goal, not a practice, and certainly not a place to start.

This article was written for and originally published in the Fall Equinox issue of The Center Spiral Magazine and is cross-posted at the Kansas City Sorcerous Arts Collective.

Ancestor veneration has always been a thing. It has been central to many indigenous practices for millennia; it has been a part of diasporic traditions for centuries; it is arguably the basis of saint cults. I even knew of academically minded neo-Pagans doing it in the 1990s. Watching the meteoric rise of ancestor worship among white neo-Pagans over the five years, though, has been a trip.

I can’t get on the train. I keep having to ask myself, “Who are these ancestors?” As far as I can tell, for most people that question seems to conjure first an image of their beloved grandparents, and then of their fantasies of Iron Age warriors and Neolithic wanderers, with little thought of the centuries in between.

I too, think of my grandparents and great-grandparents. I think of the racist jokes they told. Of the way they treated my mother and my sister. Of how they always had a justification for police brutality. Of how they ignored the AIDS crisis. How they opposed the Civil Rights movement. How they may or may not have fought in the World Wars, but certainly did not oppose the US genocides and apartheid state that inspired Hitler and the Nazis. How they fought to preserve slavery in the Civil War. I do not find these deeds worthy of veneration. Do you?

White people whose ancestors came to the United States before the Civil War have even less to be proud of. How complicit were they in displacing the indigenous population? Did they own slaves? Were they a part of the original, most guilty, colonizing forces?

As a white person, when relating to other white people, I always find a more-than-academic interest in ancestry to be a giant red flag. That territory is rife with phrases like “Christian civilization”, “heritage not hate”, “demographic twilight”, and “Jews will not replace us”. Other gems include, “the Irish were slaves, too” and “well, sure, but the Natives weren’t really using the land”.

Any white person interested in ancestor work of any kind needs to grapple with some basic facts of history. The very category of whiteness was invented to justify colonizing the New World: prior to that ambition, the only pan-European identity that existed was Christendom, and the wars of the Protestant Reformation will tell you exactly how unified that identity was. Slavery existed before white people, but one of the very first things “whiteness” did was to invent the most horrific form of slavery to ever be conceived or implemented. White people implemented brutal and murderous empires on a scale unknown in prior history. White people invented scientific racism. White people continue to reap the benefits of this rapine and murderous history, continue to hold the majority of the globe in abject subjugation.

Any white person interested in ancestor work also needs to look to the present and grapple with the reality of which white people share their interest in ancestry. Mormons, colonizing the dead through posthumous baptism. Confederate sympathizers. Neo-liberal and neo-conservative apologists who hide their racism behind “but our accomplishments”. White identitarians. White supremacists.

White identity and white nationalist groups surged in popularity following the 2008 election of Barrak Obama, the first Black President of the United States. That surge included a new vigor in neo-Pagan fascist groups like Odinism and the Asatru Folk Association. From where I sit, the renewed interest in ancestor worship by “apolitical” and “mainstream” New Agers and Pagans that I first saw in 2012/13 looks a lot like those ideas filtering from the extreme toward the middle.

I’m not accusing every white person interested in ancestor work of being a crypto-fascist. I’m saying that white people interested in ancestor work cannot just handwave history away. I’m saying that white people – white Pagans – cannot simply just jump from their “sweet old (probably racist, homophobic, and imperialist) grandma” to their Iron Age progenitors without dealing with everything in between. I’m saying that white people working with their ancestors must address the crimes of our ancestors, and the ill-gotten-gains that define our lives.

We must ask ourselves, “What do our ancestors truly deserve?”

White people who wish to venerate our ancestors must begin by determining which ancestors are worthy of veneration. This is the work of history. Of education.

When we make offerings to those who came before us, we must name the deeds that make them worthy. The inventors. The scholars. The plumbers and mechanics and crafters. The healers and care-takers.

And when we make offerings to those who came before us, we must condemn the deeds that make them unworthy. The colonizers. The slave traders. The slave holders. The rapists and murderers. The racists, the misogynists, and the homophobes. The status quo warriors of prior ages.

White people who wish to venerate our ancestors must work to atone for their crimes among the living. This is the work of feminism. Of anti-racism. Of anti-colonialism. Of anti-fascism.

If white people – white Pagans – are to venerate our ancestors, we must do so without nostalgia or sentimentality. Even as we lift up the heroes of previous generations, we must bind our evil ancestors to Tartaros. Or Hell. Or the Void. Anywhere but the mortal world where they can continue the works they began in life. And we must fight their unrepentant children who re-commit and deepen their crimes.

And we must beg forgiveness from the ghosts of those our ancestors wronged.

What do your ancestors deserve?

August has been fucking bonkers, and super good for me in a lot of ways, but in all the hustle and bustle I forgot to make a major announcement here at the Obsidian Dream!

I’ve been talking about launching a podcast for literally years. One with Aradia. One with Kraken. One by myself. But it didn’t quite come together until the beginning of this year, when I began recording segments for my then-empty Patreon.

Friday, I finally launched the first episode of the Hidden Worlds Podcast. My interview subject was Emily Gabbert of the Kansas City Witches Meet-Up and Center Spiral Magazine. You can listen to the episode and see the show notes over at the Hidden Worlds blog. You can subscribe in your RSS-based podcatcher via this link. I’m working on getting it up and running on iTunes, Spotify, and all the other corporate curated spaces … that might take a couple more episodes to hammer out.

The Hidden Worlds podcast will consist of alternating interview and subject episodes, focusing on the visceral experiences of creating art and practicing magic. Unlike this blog, which hardcore targets the moderately experienced witch and magician, the Hidden Worlds blog and podcast will strive to be accessible to the more casual student of art and the paranormal. Every episode will end with the fun and exciting question: What Is The Strangest Thing That Has Ever Happened To You?

The podcast, like this blog, is free and will always be free. The only ads you will ever see or hear are for my own projects and/or the projects of my interviewees. But, because we live in the 21st century world of late stage capitalism on a dying world, I will beg you to support it out of the goodness of your own heart by backing me on Patreon. I have just finished revamping the tiers and rewards structure, as well as recording a pitch video. Please head over to my Patreon, laugh at the video, and consider pledging your support.

Hey, friends!  Do you live within an easy drive of the KC Metro Area?  Are you free the weekend of Sunday 2o May?  You should come to Aquarius Books and join me for the official release event for my novel!

I’ll be doing the usual book signing party things: reading a passage, taking questions, telling stories.  There will be snacks and beverages.  There will be a limited number of copies of the book available for purchase on site, but if you don’t trust your luck you can contact me directly (the preferred method) or purchase your copy from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or possibly even your local bookstore.  There will be some giveaway items, and possibly some prints of my occult art available for purchase.

Austin Coppock and Chris Brennan have described this era of Saturn in Capricorn as one of “credit where credit is due” and “reaping the fruits of your labors” … or, alternately, putting in the work for which you will ultimately be paid.  This has certainly been true of my experience so far.

In the second week of December, I found some hidden reserve of motivation and kicked everything in to high gear.  I did a photoshoot with a friend, trading modelling time for a custom pendant for a stone she had just acquired.  I made so much jewelry for Christmas presents it’s not even funny.  I found the strength to formally sever my ties with the HSA, following debacles that I may or may not yet discuss.

In the first weeks of January, I set myself to re-mastering lapidary stonecutting, producing the first several pieces in a series of labradorite cabochons set in sterling silver.  At the same time, I also redoubled my efforts to finish editing and printing my debut novel, The Mark of the Wolf.  By the end of January, I had finished the wax for the art-trade pendant and had ordered the print proofs for the novel.

In February, I made the final edits to The Mark of the Wolf and began shipping my Kickstarter backers their rewards.  I’m still working on that, but every little bit is a weight off of my shoulders.  I paid my debt to Bune, who helped boost my income over the last three months.  I have cast and finished and delivered the pendant for my friend who modelled for me, and can now with clear conscience begin sharing the images we made.  At the same time, I cast up a beautiful amber pendant that I’ve been wanting to make since I got that lot of raw black amber back in, what, October?  I’ve even gotten that D&D game off the ground, the one I’ve been trying to recruit players for literally a year.

Today is the first of March.  Last night I submitted my paperback for mass distribution.  Tonight I’ll do the same for the hardback edition of The Mark of the Wolf.  Then I’ll just have the rest of my kickstarter rewards to ship out, and I’ll be able to fully commit myself to promoting the novel and finishing the sequel, already in progress.

My goal for 2018 is to clear my plate of as many existing projects as possible.  To pay my debts and free up my mind so that I can pursue my larger goals with greater fervor and fewer distractions.  Highlights of the remaining to-do list include:

• Finish delivering my Kickstarter rewards.
• Hammer down a first draft of The Rise of the Necromancer, sequel to Mark of the Wolf.
• Go back over my occult-themed photoshoots and put together a coherent collection.
• Design a graduation ring for a friend from college about to get her masters.
• Design an engagement ring for a different college friend about to get married.
• Finish re/processing my photography from the pre-Lighroom era.

My original plan had been to begin my meditations Monday by making the first round of candles, which would be dedicated to Dionysos.  Unfortunately, Sunday night I cut my hand badly while doing dishes, and that plan was immediately scrapped.  I can’t make candles or build altars without reopening the wound at this stage.  Taking this as something of a sign, I spent yesterday coddling my hand, reading actual printed words, and living life unplugged from the internet.

I type this post, now, entirely left handed, still full of peace from my first day of real leisure since … I don’t remember when.  I spent all of yesterday reading, and half of today.  Depending on how quickly my hand heals, and how far behind I get as a result of this setback, it will be the 11th or the 18th before I start the Do Magick challenge.

Sitting still for a day felt so good, though, that I cant quite bring myself to be upset by this delay.  I think that my meditations will be improved by the slowdown.

In the meantime I will continue my research.  I’ve ploughed through Detienne and bookmarked both the Homeric and Orphic hymns, but Otto and Burkurt yet await.  And I still have a lot of art to dig up.