{"id":2792,"date":"2016-06-21T13:10:14","date_gmt":"2016-06-21T18:10:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.wordpress.com\/?p=2792"},"modified":"2016-06-21T13:10:14","modified_gmt":"2016-06-21T18:10:14","slug":"looking-for-the-labyrinth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/2016\/06\/21\/looking-for-the-labyrinth\/","title":{"rendered":"Looking for the Labyrinth"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This weekend, I attended my first Gnostic Catholic Mass with the <a href=\"http:\/\/behutet-oto.org\/\">local chapter of the OTO<\/a>. \u00a0Because my timing is sometimes awesome, there was a group in\u00a0from Omaha to see three of their number baptized, which really elevated the initiatory current of the rite. \u00a0I could get into a detailed\u00a0analysis, but that&#8217;s not why I&#8217;m here today.<\/p>\n<p>The ritual\u00a0was beautiful and powerful.\u00a0 I definitely enjoyed the power-up. \u00a0I&#8217;m glad I went. \u00a0There were good people there. \u00a0I will almost certainly\u00a0go again.<\/p>\n<p>But it&#8217;s not home.<\/p>\n<p>I spent half the ritual itching to go home and <em>do witchcraft<\/em>. \u00a0To light candles and beat a drum and chong out my altar room with incense and oil smoke. \u00a0To pour libations and swill wine with the gods. \u00a0To leap the hedge and descend the World Tree and seek once more the realms beneath the Earth. \u00a0I want to walk the winding paths of the labyrinth.<\/p>\n<p>Instead, though, I struggle to meditate. \u00a0My dreams elude me.<\/p>\n<p>I stand\u00a0before my altars and stare, futile, even as I stare at the blank page. \u00a0Should I draw or write? \u00a0What project needs my attention first? \u00a0How do I even? \u00a0How do? \u00a0<em>What<\/em>\u00a0<em>do<\/em>?<\/p>\n<p>I want to burn the world. \u00a0I have to tools. \u00a0And yet my hands shake. \u00a0The circle trembles. \u00a0My heart hammers in my chest. \u00a0Where do I begin to begin again? \u00a0I am paralyzed by indecision.<\/p>\n<p>I cannot find my voice. \u00a0I cannot find my way back to the labyrinth.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This weekend, I attended my first Gnostic Catholic Mass with the local chapter of the OTO. \u00a0Because my timing is sometimes awesome, there was a group in\u00a0from Omaha to see three of their number baptized, which really elevated the initiatory current of the rite. \u00a0I could get into a detailed\u00a0analysis, but that&#8217;s not why I&#8217;m &hellip; <span class=\"read-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/2016\/06\/21\/looking-for-the-labyrinth\/\" class=\"more-link\">Read More<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[5],"tags":[38],"class_list":["post-2792","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-witchcraft","tag-by-the-way-im-crazy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8kUcm-J2","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2792","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2792"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2792\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2792"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2792"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2792"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}