{"id":902,"date":"2012-10-03T20:21:38","date_gmt":"2012-10-04T01:21:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.wordpress.com\/?p=902"},"modified":"2012-10-03T20:21:38","modified_gmt":"2012-10-04T01:21:38","slug":"rubble-toil-and-trouble","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/03\/rubble-toil-and-trouble\/","title":{"rendered":"Rubble, Toil, and Trouble"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"projectnull\"<\/a>When I said I hit a wall a couple weeks ago, it was even more true than I realized at the time.\u00a0 The cold I was fighting weakened me slowly, until Tuesday when I was too sick to go to class.\u00a0 When the fever passed, it was followed by a wave of insomnia and depression.\u00a0 Although I\u2019ve managed to largely maintain my banishing practice (about three days out of five), meditation not on the weekends has been sporadic at best, as has dream journaling.<\/p>\n

In line with the depression has been the bouts of obsessive behavior: after buying and finally watching the Avengers when it came out on DVD last week, I proceeded to plow through the Marvel Ultimate reboot\u2014an exceptionally dystopian vision, full of (and uncritical of) contempt for consent and creepy sex-negativity, which did nothing whatsoever for my state of mind.\u00a0 I\u2019ve dreamed about superheroes for at least three of the last seven nights.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think the Chaos Magic is in any way to blame for this round of madness and obsession: I think the length of time since I last saw my lovers, and my paucity of friends on campus, are owed full credit.<\/p>\n

In the middle of all this madness, though, was some actual interesting and productive work.\u00a0 I have begun experimenting with psychic shields again for the first time in years. I make very, very effective<\/em> shields, but I hesitate to say that I\u2019m \u201cgood\u201d at it: when they\u2019re up, it\u2019s like living in a mad tyrant\u2019s castle: nothing gets in, nothing gets out \u2026 even if it probably ought to. But the escalating magic of the last couple years has re-opened psychic senses that I don\u2019t want to loose again, either through atrophy or burn-out, and re-learning effective shielding has become an imperative. That\u2019s a post in and of itself.<\/p>\n

This weekend, I honored the Full Moon by completely disassembling and cleaning my altars and by putting them back together in a slightly more effective arrangement.\u00a0 I started two batches of mead.\u00a0 And I have successfully incorporated underworld journeys into two Esbats in a row, now, culminating in a journey into the very strange places opened up in my Inner Temple by my self-initiation<\/a> into the Chaos Current.\u00a0 No, that wasn\u2019t what I was trying to do there, exactly, but \u2026 that\u2019s basically what it amounted to.\u00a0 That, too, deserves a post unto itself.<\/p>\n

After firing off a few rounds of sigils, things in my life are starting to get moving.\u00a0 I need to keep at it: exercising my will and manifesting the world I want.\u00a0 A lot of the specific desires have not yet manifested fully, but they\u2019re complex and delicate this time, and I\u2019m not in a hurry.\u00a0 I can see things working and that\u2019s good enough for me.\u00a0 Fuller reports will become available as they manifest.<\/p>\n

All this has put me a little behind on my original schedule, and it\u2019s time for me to start in on Liber Lux and Nox if I\u2019m to have any chance of being even half done by the end of October.\u00a0 The madness and illness, though, are not actually to blame for that tardiness.\u00a0 Instead, they share a common cause: I\u2019ve overextended myself a bit this semester.\u00a0 I\u2019ve almost got a handle on the work load, and I should be okay by the time I\u2019m done with Midterms, but \u2026 well, I\u2019ve already complained about that shit enough, here and elsewhere.\u00a0 Unfortunately, everything has to take a back seat to my classes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I said I hit a wall a couple weeks ago, it was even more true than I realized at the time.\u00a0 The cold I was fighting weakened me slowly, until Tuesday when I was too sick to go to class.\u00a0 When the fever passed, it was followed by a wave of insomnia and depression.\u00a0 … Read More<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[5],"tags":[45,159,211],"class_list":["post-902","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-witchcraft","tag-chaos-magic","tag-mental-health","tag-project-null"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8kUcm-ey","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/902","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=902"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/902\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=902"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=902"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/journeythroughtheobsidiandream.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=902"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}