Elemental Excursions

So it seems that, in all the alternating depression and excitement of the last month, I forgot to announce some fairly important and amazing news!

My artwork was selected to represent the theme of this year’s Heartland Pagan Festival!

elemental excursions art

My formal Artist’s Statement reads as follows:

The image is constructed of circles interlocking in the manner of Celtic knots.  The outer four circles contain the traditional alchemical symbols for the four Classical Elements: Earth, Air, Water, and Fire.  The central circle reveals a landscape at sunset or sunrise, with a road stretching from the foreground plains to the sun-topped mountains in back.  The plains are marked by a lake on the left and a tower on the right.

The symbolism may feel familiar to students of the tarot, particularly decks descended from the images of Pamela Coleman Smith, and this is no coincidence.  The tower by the lake and the road evokes The Moon, which challenges the practitioner to face their fears head on.  The tower, on its own, evokes The Tower from which the unwary fall when they cannot overcome those demons.  The Sun shines down over it all: the mountain cliffs from which The Fool threatens to fall, the road The Chariot traverses, and the field where Death reaps. This is the magical and material World made up of the Elements which we must explore and master.

But here, in this public yet intimate space, I’m just going to come out and say that I’m fucking ecstatic.  Seriously, I cannot even begin to articulate how happy it makes me to have my art representing the festival that has been such a significant part of my life.

Moreover, between my position as Chair of the Sacred Experience Committee, my committee’s close work with the Speakers and Bands Committee, and now the official festival artwork, I have a hand in most of the most visible aspects of Heartland Pagan Festival 2016.  And just to be clear, this is not a power trip.  This is me nerding out hard core.  This festival has been a huge part of my life since I was eighteen years old.  I have attended more festivals than not since 1999 — twelve out of sixteen, if I recall correctly.  And now, just by virtue of having shown up to do the work, I have a significant voice in how this festival is going to be experienced and remembered by everyone who comes this year.

So please, allow me to invite you to join the festivities.  Come to Heartland Pagan Festival 2016 and explore the four elements with me.  (Please forgive the current state of the web page; we’re suffering some technical difficulties, but the registration system DOES work.)  When you get there, look for the long haired, tattooed, hippie fuck in too much eyeliner working the Sacred Experience Committee booth, and tell him you want to throw back some mead with your favorite satyr.

And, if you live close enough that you’d like to get involved, don’t hesitate to member up at the same link.  There’s a lot of work to be done to put on a festival, and we’ll be glad to have you.

Working Jupiter I

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Aradia and I built our Jupiter altar just short of a week ago.  Since then, we have done relatively little Jupiterian magic — a couple Orphic Hymns, participating in the Magical Working Against the False Kings, a bit of dream incubation — but the changes in our lives have already been remarkable.

The very minute we established the altar, the feel of the whole house changed.  The … wan malaise that had permeated everything was replaced with a vigorous readiness.  We rose at dawn the next day to perform our rites at the Dawn hour of Jupiter, something we had not done since the very beginning of the Solar work.

Since then, we have both been filled with ambition — and, more importantly, motivation.  I can’t even begin to get into how much we’ve gotten done in the last week.  It has been so, so easy to find the time and energy to do things.  I’m not falling asleep on my commute any more.

Even better, for the first time since I came back to Kansas City from the Sunrise Temple, I have felt that old magician’s charisma again.  The way people have been responding to me … again, it is beyond words.

Jupiter and witchcraft, it seems, go together far better than I would ever have imagined.

Things are going to get exciting as we start escalating.

 

 

 

 

Imbolc Musings

Aradia and I actually put up our Imbolc altar almost three weeks ago, as a part of the ritual of “putting Christmas away.”

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We kept it simple: white candles, red cloth, and the images of our household gods and spirits.

And then we wondered … what does Imbolc mean, really?

The internet is a strange journal, but at times an effective one.  Looking back over my Imbolc posts here on the blog and the “memories” offered up to me by the Book of Faces, it becomes clear that deep depression in January has been a part of my life for at least as long as I was in school.  Every year, when I have written anything at all, I have written about the dream of returning warmth, of waiting for Beltane, and the struggle to maintain my practice and relationships despite my internal Abyss.

The weather grows stranger every year and, here in Kansas City, this year’s Imbolc marks a (brief) return to cold, rather than a desperate hope for warmer weather.  I have to specify Kansas City, though, because last night Aradia and I watched the weatherman describe the movement of the blizzard currently threatening Kansas, Nebraska, and Iowa, but Missouri as if brushed away by the hand of some local god, leaving KC all but untouched and pounding St. Louis with yet another round of torrential rain.  (To whatever KC witch, wizard, magician, or sorcerer is responsible for the repeated deflection of major storms: mad props to you, Mx., and if you’ll agree to meet me in person and talk tech, I’ll buy you dinner and drinks and swear on the River Styx to never reveal your identity.)

This year’s depression, by contrast, has been much, much stronger.  It is the warmth of joy that I pray for this Imbolc, not just the warmth of the Sun.

But… still … what does Imbolc mean?

More than any other Sabbat, I see this question asked and tentatively answered around the Pagan circles of the Book of Faces.  I particularly like Shauna Aura Knight’s answers about creativity and work (article the first, article the second), which is why I have spent the last two days working on blog posts and this coming HPF’s rituals with particular fervor, and updating my photography portfolio (shameless plug).  I intend to spend this afternoon updating this very blog, cleaning up links to dead blogs and making things prettier.

As I light the fires on the altar, I strive to re-light the fires within.

 

The Sun versus Depression

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Midwestern Gothic 22 by Wormwood Groves Photography

When Aradia and I set out to spend the year re-exploring planetary magic and reframing it in terms more accessible to witches, we started with the Sun for a variety of reasons.  Firstly, we were beginning at the Winter Solstice: the return of the Sun or – depending on how you frame things – the be beginning of the waxing year.  Secondly, from a naturalistic standpoint, if there is any planet that rules the heavens, then it is the life-giving Sun around whose gravity all the other planets revolve. Thirdly, as witches, the Sun is familiar and friendly to us, second only to the Moon.  And, finally, we had hoped that the Sun would help me overcome the deep depression that overshadowed the second half of 2015.

In this last, we found a ourselves to be very wrong.

There are a lot of reasons.  The crash after leading the main rituals at Heartland last year (an event that I still haven’t written about).  My house flooding in the Biblical rains we had here in KC from April through June.  The implosion of a long-standing friendship.  Family drama, in part political, in part related to the problems with my house.  Financial troubles.  All manageable, even taken together, except … I just didn’t have it in me.  This has been one of the worst years of my life for my mental health.

Here in the depths of winter … even the Sun wasn’t enough.

There were days … weeks when I considered abandoning the project altogether.  I thought that perhaps I should switch to an elemental experiment, to better prepare me for the rites of HPF 2016.  It got to where just walking into the room with the altars gave me panic attacks.

In retrospect, I think that conjuring the Sun at the Winter Solstice was not the best plan.  The Sun is not the Moon, where it’s ebb is the flow of a different sort of power.  The Sun is always there, holding the spinning orbs in place, and the turning of the terrestrial seasons has little bearing on the efficacy of traditional astrological magic.  But I was … am practicing witchcraft, and the turning of the seasons is the heart of that power.  And right now the Solar year is waxing,  but it is still … distant.  And cold.  And it is the warmth of the Sun that I needed to drag me out of my Abyss.

Instead, I have been climbing out of my depression the other way available to those of us without the appropriate healthcare: by what Aradia describes as the ladder of anger and anxiety.  Fortunately, most of my friends are as mad as I am, and have been very understanding of how difficult it is to be around me.

As I said, I very seriously considered giving up the experiment of planetary witchcraft.  But we did get some very solid results early on, and in contemplating the Sun I did also gain some insight into how to more effectively proceed.  More importantly, though, I remembered something I learned from all my science friends: negative results are not the same thing as a failed experiment.  The things I learned from this round will help me execute the next.

Orphic Hymns to the Sun: Translations in Action

A great deal of the current work being done with planetary magic right now relies heavily on the use of the Orphic Hymns, chiefly the 18th century translations by Thomas Taylor.  Long-time readers may recall that I am uncomfortable with those translations, and have argued that the more recent and more accurate translations of Apostolos Athanassakis be used instead.  It was not only inevitable, then, but entirely by design that my first week of conjurations put these two translations back-to-back to see what differences might be discerned in their efficacy.

For those magicians who are not also ancient language geeks (how have I not bored you to death?), the gist of it is that the Ancient Greek in which the Orphic Hymns were composed was written in meter rather than rhyme, and hammering the verses into a simple English rhyme-scheme takes some serious torture.  Also, archaeology is amazing, and we know more about the languages of Hellenistic Greece today than Taylor did, so some of his mistakes may be rooted in bad dictionaries.  Some magicians, equally if not more geeky and educated as I, believe that the Taylor translations work better magically for all sorts of reasons, but I ride this hobby horse to hell, regardless.

Taylor’s rhyming cant does, I must concede, a certain something for the brain of the English speaking magician.  We have this whole thing with magic and rhyme, and any good Chaos magician knows how valuable it is to tap into that sort of unconscious power source.  Moveover, between their ready (and free) availability, and the work of Rufus Opus (among others), the Taylor translations of the Hymns are explicitly tied to the planetary rites of the modern Western magical tradition.  All this goes to say that when I used the Thomas Taylor translation of the Hymn to the Sun, by itself, as a part of RO’s Seven Spheres rite, and as a part of conjurations of my own design, I already knew something of what to expect.

The warmth of the Sun responds readily to the hymn, and one may ride that way direct to the planetary current, and the Archangel Michael or the Titan god Helios respond equally readily to accept the offerings laid out before them.

The translations of Apostolos Athanassakis are aimed at the casual enthusiast as much as the professional Classicist, so they are not as sharp-edged as some might fear — the pages are unmarred by indications of broken text in the original, or annotation regarding the academic infighting of one translation versus another.  Moreover, in the particular case of the Hymn to Helios, the differences between the two translations are much less stark and more stylistical than other Orphic Hymns.

The Sun that responded to Aradia and I when we called by this hymn, both by itself and as a part of the Seven Spheres rite, was startlingly different from that which answered to the Taylor translation.  It was tarnished, or perhaps brazen rather than gold.  It was older, more aloof, more … Titanic.  Aradia described the experience as having used a back door to the sun.

It was the Athanassakis translation of the Orphic Hymn to Helios, substituted for Taylor in the Seven Spheres rite, which produced my most vivid experience of the experiment so far: the sensation of having ascended to an old, cooling, and abandoned region of the Sun, and of being observed by a vast red-gold eye, the size of a planet, staring widely at my from within an almost understandably vast head.

 

Gearing Up To Lick the Socket Again

I am a terrible Chaos magician.

I mean, I make really, really pretty sigils.  (That whole “life dedicated to art” thing.)  And I think I get better-than-average results from them —  as much as one can say so without comparing notes on a level that very few of us are able to keep, let alone willing to show them off.  My one and only servitor has been … odd, but effective, and has been protecting my home for nearly three years running.

But I am terrible at code-switching.  When I dig into a paradigm, I can’t help but let it get under my skin.  As I do more and more of the magic, it sinks into my bones.  I can’t put it back down just like that. Read More

Novel Excerpt: Mark of the Wolf: Samhain

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 31st, 1998

“So,” said Jennifer.  “You guys performed a magic ritual.  And went on a magic quest.  To find a magic book.  Which is sitting right in front of us.”

“Yeah.”

Jennifer scuttled as far from the book as she could without leaving the blanket.

Meanwhile, the ritual was progressing.  Dominic anointed Aaron and Amber with oil – upon the brow, the breast, and right above their waistbands – then handed Amber the oil so that she might do the same for Jacob and himself.  So anointed, Dominic took the knife from the altar and walked a circle around the others, blade extended, his expression somewhere between concentration and rapture.  To either side of Margaret, Alexander and Jennifer shivered.  For her own part, Margaret felt something inside her relax.  The Mark – restless here out at Gaea, but not as terribly as before – grew still.  The Circle drawn, Dominic took his place at the north.  Aaron spoke first, his voice low and reverent as he lit his candle.

“Powers and spirits of the West; guardians of the primal Water from which flows the river Styx; keepers of the dead, guides of the path between this life and the next.  We call you to our Circle to be honored on this night of Samhain.”

Margaret could hear the speakers clearly in the quiet of the woods, though she and the other non-participants sat some yards away.  While they almost certainly could not, Alexander and Jennifer grew quiet out of respect.  Dominic spoke next, lighting his own candle.

“Powers and spirits of the North; creatures of Air, intellect, and the upper realms.  We call to you to join our circle on this night of Samhain.”

It was Amber’s turn to light her candle, invoking her element with reverence and awe.

“Powers and spirits of the East; keepers of the primal Fire and the light of knowledge and the secrets of rebirth.  We call you to join our circle this night of Samhain.”

Jacob lit his candle and spoke slowly, his voice deepening.

“Powers and spirits of the South; creatures of vast Earth, of fecund life and deep time.  We call you to join our circle this night of Samhain.”

They held together in a long moment of silence, then incanted in unison.

“So the circle is cast.  So mote it be.”

Amber and Dominic stepped forward into the center of the circle, and Dominic knelt at Amber’s feet.  Both bowed their heads for a long moment, then both raised their hands to the sky.  Dominic drew breath as if to speak, but all that emerged from his mouth was a long, loud tone that he maintained as he drew his hands down from the sky and toward Amber.

The scene was vaguely erotic: a beautiful young man kneeling before a half-naked young woman, his palms mere inches from her ribs.  Margaret felt as though she ought be embarrassed on their behalf, but mostly she wished she had her camera with her, with film and a lens up to the task of capturing the image at this distance by moonlight.

A shudder ran through Amber’s body, and she reached up further toward the sky, her head tilted back in ecstacy.  She lowered her hands, stood up straighter, and seemed to grow by inches.

Amber brought a hand down to touch Dominic’s face in a regal gesture, then reached for the ground with both hands open.

“Come, O God,” she evoked, raising her hands slowly as she spoke.  “Rise from your earthly slumber of death.  Rise and join this circle.  Rise and dwell in the body of your priest.”

Then she laid her hands on his shoulders, and a shudder ran through his body.  He stood, slowly, and they faced away from one another, back to back so that Amber faced Aaron in the West and Dominic looked out to where Margaret sat with the others.

“Aaron,” Amber called, gesturing for him to step forward.   “It is you who serve the Crone.  Invite the beloved dead into the circle.”

Aaron stepped forward at her command, and nodded at her words.  He turned and faced the West again, speaking loudly but gently.

“We call upon you who have passed beyond the Gates of Life, you who have loved us and have watched over us from beyond, be welcome in our circle.  We call upon you Mighty Dead, honored of the Craft, be welcome in our circle.  We call upon you still imprisoned in the trap whence we have lately escaped, felled before your time, be welcome in our circle.”  Aaron pulled a small bottle from the pocket of his jeans and poured it out at his feet.  “Accept this offering, and those we shall lay before you.”

While Aaron was speaking Dominic had unobtrusively knelt and retrieved the chalice and athame from the altar.  When Aaron was done speaking, both he and Amber turned back toward the center of the circle, and Dominic handed the chalice to her.  Amber raised the chalice for all to see, then filled it with wine from the altar and held it out toward Dominic.  Dominic, in turn, raised the athame high, then touched it to his forehead before reversing the blade and lowering it slowly into the chalice.  They stood there, posed, his wand in her cup, then separated.

She raised the cup to his lips and he drank.  He took the cup from her and she drank from his hand in turn before reclaiming the chalice and offering wine to Aaron and Jacob as well.

“Speak, Aaron,” Amber said, “of my descent to the dark realms.”

Aaron bowed his head, then stood tall and spoke.

“In the early days of the world, there was only life and death, creation and destruction.  The Goddess walked the earth, making mortal things, and when they died they were claimed by the God and taken to the realms of death.  The Goddess lived in the light and the God lived in shadow, never taking the last breath of a living thing while the goddess watched.  All the Mysteries of light and life were hers to create and control, but death and darkness were unknown to her.  A time came when she could no longer abide this.  She knew where the border lay between life and death, and searched that border until she found the passage by which things moved from one into the other.”

As he spoke, Aaron paced clockwise around the circle, gesturing dramatically with his hands.

“The God sensed that his borders were being probed, and he was waiting at the gate when the Goddess approached.  He hid his face behind his helm and barred her way with his spear, but he could not help but be moved by her beauty and her splendor.  Thus his indifference was feigned when he demanded that she explain why she sought to move beyond the borders of her own kingdom.

“The Goddess explained to him that she loved dearly all that she had created, and that she wished to see where her creatures went when they left her, and that they were well cared for.  The God nodded his great head, but warned her that the realms of death were governed by their own laws, and that the Goddess could not bring anything but herself beyond the brazen gate.

“The Goddess nodded in turn, and stripped off her crown and robes and all her precious jewels.  The God was overawed by the Goddess standing naked before him, and bowed himself down and laid his spear and helm at her feet, swearing to serve her always.  The Goddess laid her hand upon his shaggy head and demanded that the God lead her down into death.”

Aaron paused, staring off into the West.

“The way to death is crooked, but swift, and beyond the River Styx the Goddess found the shades of all the things she had created but which had left her.  She knelt among them and wept for joy, and the God stood at her shoulder.  She thanked him for caring for her creatures, and bid him lead her back up to the realm of life lest her other creations worry.  This he could not do.

“If you are to return to the realms of life, he told her, you must first descend the entire way.  And so he led her further down, past the other great rivers and his guardian Cerberus, beyond the Elysian fields – yet empty for there had been no heroes – unto the very throne.

“There, the Goddess discovered the greatest mystery of all: for she, herself, already sat upon the throne.  She had already been there since the dawn of time, which was why she could not leave.”

All stood in silence.  Then Amber spoke again.

“Thus ended the earliest age of the world, for the revelations of that first descent changed the nature of life and death forever.  Then as now, it is the Mother who tends to the garden of life, and it is the Crone who tends to the dead with the Grey God at her side.  Every season since that first the Mother descends to the underworld in search of her children.  It is autumn now, and passing into winter, and we know the absence of the Goddess.  Yet we know that spring has come before and will come again.  The Mother descends and becomes the Crone, but in her wake she leaves a promise: that she will return as the Maiden with the Green God at her side, and she will tend to the garden of life and be the Mother once more.”

Dominic raised his hands above his head.

“Let us pour out blood-red wine in memory of the Mother, who has left us.  Let us pour out blood-red wine to the Crone who awaits us.  Let us pour out blood-red wine to those who have died before, because their fate awaits us all.”

Amber, Aaron, Dominic, and Jacob each poured out a measure of wine, then passed the bottle back around, drinking until it was empty.  When they were done, Dominic pulled a tray of honey cakes and another bottle of wine from beneath the altar, and with Amber’s aid they opened the bottle and repeated the blade-and-chalice ritual.

“Finally,” said Dominic, kneeling at the altar, setting aside a cake and pouring out a last measure of wine.  “Let us thank the gods and spirits that have aided us in our quest to find the Liber Caecissima.  By your aid, we shall aid another, and undo a great wrong.”

“Now,” Amber cried loudly enough that even Alexander and Jennifer could hear, “in honor of life and death alike, let us feast on cakes and ale!”

Novel Excerpt: The Mark of the Wolf: the Seer

My recently completed novel, The Mark of the Wolf, is a tale of supernatural horror and the occult, informed by my lifetime of magical practice as much as my love of monster movies and genre fiction. The story revolves around a high-school Pagan club from the late 1990s, and a young woman who comes to them for help when she thinks she’s been cursed.  They agree to help her, if reluctantly, and find themselves drawn into the more dangerous regions of the magical world they had already begun to explore.

The passage below is an excerpt from the second chapter. I’m in the final stages of editing and only beginning to seek out publishers, but it’s never too early to start promoting.

Read More